Calling for her Mama

Sunday, January 23, 2011

At 2:30am, I posted my status on Facebook as "Can't sleep :( wants to watch Burn Notice." but I think I fell asleep after 30 minutes of tossing and turning (and snoring in the room).  A little before 4am I awoke because of a repeating sound outside.

Our neighbor has a teen or a young "adult" daughter.  She must have missed her curfew because she has been calling, shouting, yelling (yes, yelling!) Ma (for Mama I suppose) for over an hour.  An hour, and that was only starting from the time I woke up.  What if she had been yelling even before that!

I immediately recalled an instance at home.  My sister had her rebellious stage and would come home at wee hours in the morning or sometimes even at 5am.  She had this stage of just wanting to party, drink, and smoke with her friends.  My Mama and Tatang would always remind her in the morning that it's not proper for girls to stay out that late and all the other dangers of being outside during those hours, but they never really made any difference to her.

One time, my mother got tired of it and closed all the doors and gate by 3am.  My sister arrived at the house at around 4 maybe, climbed up the gate and kept knocking on our front and side door.  I knew my mom was up.  I knew she could hear my sister knocking, quietly calling out for someone to open the door.  My sister would even go around the house and call us from our windows.  My mother gave instructions to our helpers and to me NOT to open the doors.

Left with no choice, my sister slept in the garage... on the floor, with our dogs.  Our dogs are not in-house dogs, mind you.  They just stay in the garage as guard dogs.  I think my mother got up at 6am and saw her uncomfortably sleeping on the steps with our dogs surrounding her. She didn't wake her either, she let my sister wake up on her own and realize that we all saw her like that.

I believe that was the last time my sister stayed out that late.  After that incident, she'd always call and say what time she'd be home so we can wait up for her.  If we can't wait up, she'd ask what time would be the latest that she could come home.  A hard way to learn her lesson, but my mother got it across.

When I became a mother I reminded my mother of that incident.  She confided that it was very, very hard for her when she did that but after months of my sister rebelling, she just didn't know what to do.  Although she and my sister were always at each others' throats during that stage, she had to stand her ground and not give in.  It seemed real harsh but it was the only way she could hold on to the "control".

Hearing the girl outside, I wonder if her mother was awake too all this time.  I wonder if this will be her last missed curfew.  I wonder if she can bear another instance of calling out for her Mama.  I hope she learned her lesson too.  It's 5:05am and I just stopped hearing her.  Either she fell asleep on the street or she was let in.  I hope it's the latter.

Have you had any similar experience?  Did you ever go through a rebellious stage?

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6 thought/s shared. Click to add yours.:

Ri Sunday, January 23, 2011 2:20:00 PM  

Hi Kat. I applaud your mom's stance (and perhaps your neighbor as well). Some tough love is indeed needed especially during times of rebellion, IMHO (not being a mother myself). However, I don't think we could have ever implemented that, maybe because of our neighborhood, and our dad being overly-protective of us :( Sometimes I felt it would have helped ;p

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w0rkingAth0mE Sunday, January 23, 2011 5:16:00 PM  

Hi Kat, well i can't remember that this thing is happened in our family, anyway my greatest fear is that my little kyla soon will be a teenager and i don't want her to exercise this thing..

By the way i have new blog have time to check it naman the link is HERE

Thanks Kat :)

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chubskulit Monday, January 24, 2011 9:18:00 AM  

My father was very very strict when I was going up and this kind of thing did not exist at all Aat our house. I would have done the same thing if I were your MOm. I hope and pray that my kids won't go through this kind of practices in the future, lalo na dito sa states na very liberated ad kids.

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aynzan Monday, January 24, 2011 2:56:00 PM  

Interesting recounting! Parents impose certain conditions on their children ,so that they dont go off limits.Punishing them by not letting them in during that time of the night is a bit scary.Anything could happen while she is kept waiting outdoors..

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BastiSimonandSam Monday, January 24, 2011 5:35:00 PM  

I feel for the girl but more for the mom if she's awake. It takes a lot of self control to give in and just let the daughter in. Great that it worked for your mom and daughter, things are different then. But in these times and with everything we hear in the news and what kids are capable of doing nowadays, it's kind of scary to not let her in. What if she walk away and just go back to friends and... Anyway, that's the paranoid in me.

Thank you for this post. I just find it so touching. That's coming from a black sheep in the family, LOL.

Reply to comment
carinamodella Tuesday, January 25, 2011 5:47:00 PM  

i don't want to be in this situation when my kids grew up. i know that it is difficult to handle teeners but i hope i can be able to cope with this thing when the time comes.

btw, i have an award for you:

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