Tuesday, March 9, 2010
She said, "Mama, mama!" then points to her milk bottle. I said, "You want milk now?" and she replies, "Mmmm..." and nods her head.
As I prepared her milk, I sensed her hurriedly moving away from me. I slowly turned around to see what she was up to and to my surprise, she had put all her toys away, positioned her pillow on the bed, fluffed it up a bit, and laid down, her bear snuggled in one arm. All I had to do was give her the bottle and turn her pal Violet's lullaby on. I couldn't help but smile but at the same time tears started to blur my eyes.
Fifteen days short of her being 18 months old, I couldn't help but feel both happy and sad. Happy that she's learning the ropes of life, sad that it's happening all too soon. With things happening this fast, I just might need to force myself to learn how to let her go and explore on her own. Don't take me wrong, I do want her to be independent, this is just a little too fast for me.
Since I got pregnant, I thought it would take a long, long, long, long time before she starts doing things for herself. I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined that I would have a taste of it this early. Oh well, that's the circle of life I guess.
As I lay beside her, listening to her breathing and watching her sleeping so peacefully, I had flashbacks of my parents always being just one step behind me in everything I did. They let me try things on my own and sometimes I succeeded. Lots of times I failed though. I know this because as I look back, I see them. My Tatang and my Mama, just a step behind me, ready to pick me up if I fall and get me back on my feet.
Now I have to learn how they did it. Yes sad... but anything for my little miss. At least I know she'll grow up to be one independent woman for sure.